First Day Jitters

“First day panic attack in progress”, I tweeted as I was on my way to school this morning. I don’t really know what I’m feeling nervous about. I’ve been through this before. I’ve rehearsed this situation in my head over and over again for the last couple of weeks. I was excited. So excited. Too excited, maybe? I don’t know. Now, I’m just sitting alone on a bench trying to gather my thoughts to write, but mostly just to keep myself sane.

What is it about first days that terrify us the most? Is it the uncertainty of what could happen as one starts a new routine? Is it the abrasive introductions that professors require you to do? Is it that lost feeling once you enter the campus? How would my new classmates react to having a young mom in the room? There are so many thoughts rushing through my head right now. I’m trying to look as normal as possible.

I hugged my Noah bear tight before I left today. I’ve gone out without him before, but today feels different. I’m terrified it’s the start of an end. I know how important his formative years are and I want to be there for every milestone, but I can’t. I have to finish school and no matter how hard it is for me to do, I will. For him. For our family.

Forgive me, I’m getting too emotional…


B(oobie)LOG #1

We celebrated Noah’s third month yesterday which also marks my third month of breastfeeding! This post is the first in a series I’m starting called B(oobie)LOG where I will be sharing my breastfeeding journey. 🌈

It has been a tough couple of months. We have had our ups and downs, but we remain determined to feed our baby with nothing but the best. Breast is, indeed, the best! We have seen its magic these past three months. 

I have been getting colds, we have been going to Laguna and Subic to see relatives, we have been going to malls to run errands. So, our little one has been exposed to a lot of people and a whole bunch of germs. It’s discouraged by our pediatrician to go places with our baby because of the risk of catching something, but we have had no choice because for the first month he was directly feeding from me and even when we could already use a bottle, we did not have a yaya to leave him with (we still don’t, so if you know anyone please help a sister out πŸ˜‰). 

Given our situation, breastmilk has been protecting our baby from diseases and infections. It’s all he needs to fill his tummy and make him healthy. Breastmilk is food and drink and medicine all in one. Each ounce a breastfeeding mom produces is composed of exactly what her baby needs. Amazing, right? ❀

Breastmilk also saves us a ton of money! Being a student, my husband is the only one making money for our family right now. I do my part by not giving up on breastfeeding no matter how tough it gets. I have had weak moments where I breakdown and think about how it would be much easier if Noah stopped latching. I could go out whenever my friends and family invite me. People don’t need to be on their tippy toes when making plans around me. I could wear anything I want without thinking if my breasts would be accessible to Noah when he gets hungry. I could sleep more and not feel icky and sticky!! But I’m a mother and a wife now so I have think of what’s best for us three.

These benefits combined with more cuddle time as I breastfeed Noah keep me going. When the boobies get full and hard and painful or the nipples sore, I just think of all the good my liquid gold brings my baby and then I’m happy!

As we rest our heads at night, we always thank God for momma’s milk!


Naps with Humphrey

I went to my college for a consultation about two weeks ago and I passed by UP Town Center on my way home. I don’t go out often so I couldn’t pass on the opportunity to get Noah his own plushy. I first saw this stuffed elephant in Harbour Point’s Gift Factory. I loved it then, but didn’t get it. So, when I saw it in the UPTC branch, I no longer hesitated. I literally went in, grabbed it, and paid. I gave it to Noah as a present for being two months old (tbh, I’m just trying to justify buying him a toy haha).

The plushy is made of hypoallergenic material and is extra soft with no annoying brand tags. It comes in three sizes. I got the smallest one because the others were still too big for my two month old baby. But I am planning to get the other two as well as he grows, so I’m hoping they don’t run out of stock or pull it out.

We named the plushy Humphrey because I bought a story book back when I was pregnant, Humphrey’s Bedtime by Sally Hunter. The main character of the book is an elephant looking exactly like the plushy I had just bought.

We’ve been putting Humphrey on his crib and beside us during naps so he can learn to have a hug buddy even when mom and dad are not around. 

I need to spend time hugging Humphrey too, so my smell would be transferred. Apparently, babies find even just the scent of their mothers comforting. It was amazing to see Noah’s little arm wrapped around Humphrey as I came back into the room after getting a snack. 

It may have also been just an accidental hug, but SO FREAKING CUTE, right?


Birthdays! 🎈

So, here it is. My first official blog post. The birth of my baby for the beginning of my blog. No better way to kick things off. πŸ˜‰

On April 11, 2017 at 12:53 PM, I gave birth to a wonderful little boy.

I was in the labor room for two days (I went in on a Sunday and gave birth Tuesday) before actually delivering my baby. Man, that was tough. I could only see and talk to my loved ones in a small hallway where I was allowed to walk. Most of the time I was alone in the labor room (with no phone), praying for EVERYTHING, waiting for my contractions to get stronger, wondering if my baby was doing okay inside my belly, and being assured that he was by constantly checking the monitor beside me. It took such a long time because my cervix wouldn’t thin out to make way for my baby.

Early Tuesday morning, my contractions started becoming more regular. My doctor said  was going to happen that day. She allowed me a light breakfast and a quick bath. With my towel still wrapped around my head, my doctor came in again saying it was time. That was around 10 AM. She popped my water bag (which didn’t feel like anything, I promise) and the contractions got stronger and stronger. I remember not trying to scream like those OA delivery scenes in movies but this really hurt like hell. I started shaking and breathing heavily. My doctor kept trying to comfort me by telling me my baby was on his way and she even sang songs while rubbing my belly. When I told her I could no longer take the pain, she gave me a tiny dose of medicine. I remember nurses holding my hand, asking me to relax, and then… It was all bright. 

I was finally brought to the delivery room. They transferred me to another bed and asked me to turn to my side for the epidural. I was so groggy that they had to wake me up every time I had to push. They would count to ten for each push. Nurses and doctors were all around me, cheering. Actually cheering. It helped a lot! Then my doctor asked me if I wanted Nico to come in and I nodded. A few more pushes and our baby finally popped out

Nico was given the privilege to cut the cord. And right after, our baby was put on my chest to latch. He felt so warm. I couldn’t believe that this little person was growing inside me the whole time. It was amazing to finally meet our baby Noah and we thank God everyday for him.